I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
