I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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