new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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