He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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