I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
