At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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