I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
