Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
