I accidentally had phone sex last night
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
