I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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