Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
