So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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