...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
