Whats the glycemic index on semen?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
