You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
