I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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