the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
