There was a lot of him and a little penis
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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