how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
