my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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