I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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