Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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