hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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