saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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