i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
