I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
