Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
