So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
