Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
