just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
