The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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