Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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