i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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