Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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