Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
try to milk me bitch
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