So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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