It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
