So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
