Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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