Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
