You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
