May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Randomize
