I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
