What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
