woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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