If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
