were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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