Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
you inspire me to be a worse person
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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