YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
