What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
