I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
