Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
